My so-called Mother.

When I was young. I never felt a love for a Mother. All I can remember are that thing she did to me which I end up crying. Every time I did something stupid or even if she thinks I annoy her, she always clobbers me with wood and sometimes pinches me in my thighs. But I never think of something else that time because I know she has her own reason why I should be punished.

One time, I get low grades during my Kindergarten years. She wants me to study hard. One day she teaches me, and when I did not get the answer. She slaps me on the head and I bump my face in the table that causes my lips to swollen and bleeds. I was crying in pain but she never cared for me and left me. When Father arrived home, I wanted to go with him and tell him what happened. But Mother was furious and gave me a burning stare. Then she told Father when he noticed my swollen lips that I bump somewhere because of my recklessness. I end up crying inside my room.

There was never a time my Mother is compassionate about me. Whenever I ask something for her like meetings on school, she will ignore me. Even going to school. At an early age, I learn to take care of myself. Like fixing my uniform. Mother was not around during those years.

That is why I am close to my Father. Father knows what I need. So whenever I have projects in school I always ask for him instead then Mother will give me her burning stare as if I did something again. Then she will tell my Father that I don't need those things anymore because they are not worthy.

Elementary days. I am the one will ironing my uniform, prepare my meal for school while Mother is still sleeping. Sometimes Father is not home because of some missions. When Father noticed about Mother being too lazy. He gets us a helper.

Whenever there is a meeting at school. Mother will always tell us she will come but didn't. I remember I wanted to be a Majorette because I like dancing and at least I should participate in School's other programs. I was attending practices already after school. When I ask Mother the payment for my Majorette Uniform, she yells at me and scolds me telling me why did I join the Drum and Bugle Corp. Instead of being proud of me, she slaps me and kicks me because she didn't tell me to join such program. I end up the laughing toy at school because I was too ambitious.

That moment was gone and I moved on. But the determination to join another program did not stop me. I joined our Schools Music Department, and I was chosen to be a Soprano B and I am proud of it for I have a good vocal. I attended practices and whenever there is a program at school. We are to sing Our prayer song. When our school decided to join a School Choir Contest, we need to pay for our uniform. I thought Mother will like it because she loves to sing.

That night, I told her I joined our Music Choir Department. I think she likes it because she said nothing, but when I ask her I need to pay for our uniform for the competition. She started shouting at me and that I never learned. That I should focus on my studies not attending the stupid program at school. Again, I end up running towards my room and cried.

At school. Friends are sympathizing to me because why I have such a Mother who is cruel to me. Then I started going out with my classmates after school. Went to the computer station and have fun. I even learned how to steal toys in the mall before because I think I was not worthy.

I enjoyed my Elementary days without a Mother who is compassionate about me. I cannot come to Father because she won't let me. When Father noticed I am silence whenever he gets home, I think he knows the answer. One time Father fetch me at school. He brings me to a fast food and we ate a lot. I was very happy because Father loves me. She bought me new bag and shoes and other things I needed for school. When we arrived home, Mother asked us where did we go because we went home together. Father told her she fetch me and he will fetch me if he will have time. I remember Mother asked Father why he needs to do that. She accused me I was the one who wants Father to fetch me.

I really don't know why she is like that. I never did something to her and besides, she is my Mother. Why is she against me. Is it because Father only loves me and not her?

When Father got to prison, everything was changed. She is easy going as if she doesn't have 6 kids. I was 15 then and our youngest was 2 years old. She comes home late with my cousins. She went to party and bars.

One time, our youngest was having a high fever, my cousin who happens to be our nanny don't know what to do. Cellphones are not available during those days so we need to wait for her. She went home very late, I asked her where she is and instead of having fun why did she not come home early. She slaps me and curses me that I have no right to talk to her like that. But I was furious because she is not our Mother anymore. She becomes someone else. Then she threw me a whetstone in my face. I thought I was going to be blind because my right eyes are very sore. I have a stitch in my face that causes to scar until now.

A few days later, she gave us away to my Grandmother. My Father's Aunt to live and finish my school there since she was rich. While she will have her time making out with other men. As if she doesn't have kids of her own.